as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
