Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Semen is not good for contacts.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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