i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
