I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Quick, to the slutcave!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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