what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
