Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm at about main and main street
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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