how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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