he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize