no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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