I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Text me some of your sweat
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
