Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
