i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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