I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
