Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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