i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize