There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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