my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
