I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
