its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
