I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
