when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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