My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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