I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
