You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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