Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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