Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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