you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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