Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
accomplished twins. life is a go
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
