I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
