i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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