when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
