My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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