She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
