I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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