Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
