Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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