I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
