Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
