Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
