I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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