I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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