did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Porn is love you can see.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize