Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
