I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
