you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
