is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think I died a long time ago.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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