She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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