u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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