thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize