why didn't you poke me back
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
