Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize