Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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