roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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