Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We just shotgunned beers for America
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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