I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
