her vagine was all disorganized.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
