you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Can you bring me the toilet please
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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