The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
