girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
