they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
