Your tits are I can't wait for
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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